The Kinky Bee

According to mankind and great philosophers and by philosophers I mean constantly horny and sex  crazed and driven persons, sex is one of the greatest gifts to all humanity and nature. It relieves stress, act as a potent valium, entices attractiveness between or among partners and most importantly it feels ever so good!

Sex carries a variety of positions that may require acrobatic skill and strength, however, there are some that seem plain stupid and has no use whatsoever. In this discussion we will talk about just that, the pointlessness of these positions and what good it has to increase or decrease pleasure.

OUR FIRST POINTLESS POSITION IS CALLED THE BODYGUARD

Persons stand behind each other and somehow try to have sex, weird huh!?

The bodyguard is a sex position in which both persons are standing and the man is stationed behind the woman doing God knows what. This position could be more interesting if the female was kneeling or leaning forward, but no, they have to be standing straight as an arrow. In my opinion this position is pointless, in order for it to have any satisfaction the man has to be greatly endowed and have a great sense or direction or in this case ” eye- dick co-ordination” cause you wouldn’t want to miss and end up thrusting something else  now would you!

SECOND POINTLESS SEX POSITION IS CALLED THE BUMPER CAR

The position for those who hate to face each other.

This position is called the Bumper Car position, because I guess you’re bumping each other. This position also needs a degree of flexibility and believe it or not but you can actually strain your penis by performing the “Bumper Car”. This position places the penis in an unusual angle form the man’s body so in case you don’t want to pull a muscle ( your main muscle) then please just avoid this pointless act.

In terms of pleasure it all depends on length, because if you don’t have the length to do this position (and I’m speaking to the men) then avoid the Bumper Car.

A slight variation of Bumper Car

THE THIRD MOST POINTLESS SEX POSITION IS CALLED THE TWISTED DOGGY

Lol, this is just too funny!The woman acts as a stool.

By looking at the picture above I am sure you will notice that there is no way the penis can actually enter the vagina at this angle unless you have a penis the length of The Great Wall of China,  so therefore this is most suitable for anal sex ( If you like that kind of kinkiness). In my opinion this is really one of the most pointless sex acts I have ever seen, I probably would have died of laughter while doing this. It seems utterly foolish!

And the anal part ehhh I’m not really a big fan of  butt to butt contact so this is definitely a no-no for me. The name “Twisted Doggy” doesn’t seem to  match, it should have been called the Butt Bump or Stool or something similar to that.

THE FOURTH MOST POINTLESS SEX POSITION IS CALLED THE DANCE

Their just standing there......

Well basically both partners are standing facing each other and staring into each other eyes dreamily. This position is similar to the bodyguard with the exception that you are facing each other this time and not away form your partner.  The dance is a pretty dull position because you are standing still and holding each other as If you are dancing.

In order for this position to have any effect the receiver or the female has to be shorter than the male and usually there is some difficulty in getting into position if you know what I mean. The male would have to stoop and use his Eye- Dick co-ordination to properly insert his umm device.

In my opinion this pointless position could be more pointful ( If there if such a word) if the female placed her foot over the male’s shoulder making it more easy to access.

THE FIFTH MOST POINTLESS SEX POSITION IS CALLED THE MISSIONARY

Is believed to be created by Christians thus, the boringness.

Missionary is not really pointless to me but many people seem to think it is so I will include it in this discussion. In fact I can think of several other positions that are more pointless than missionary, for example:

THE BENDED KNEE POSITION

Complicated much!

THE BOOK ENDS POSITION

A variation of missionary

THE BOOSTER SEAT POSITION

Um those the word baby comes to your mind?

Anyway, as I was saying Missionary actually delivers much pleasure, there is ease of access for both partners and its enjoyable and provides intimacy. Most persons and I do mean men when I refer to “persons” deem Missionary as boring. Well, it kinda is and your doing most of the work, but you cant denie that it doesn’t feel pleasurable and I know men get a sick sense of being in control when doing this position.

So there are still alot of dumb persons out there that doesn’t have the slightest clue about sex and usually cant differentiate between what works and what doesn’t. Well do not fear because The Kinky Bee is here to set all you dumb asses straight. Let me help you achieve a sense of reality by setting the myths aside and verifying the FACTS!

MYTH NUMBER 1:  You cant get pregnant if a man ‘pulls out’ before he cums. FALSE

This is a LIE, so fucking lie! This has as much truth to it as you thinking women do not pretend during sex! You might not get pregnant the first few times but i guarantee you that with a couple more tries of this method you will. ‘How come you?’, may ask, well…. stupid! There is something called PRE-CUM and sperm is usually present in this liquid and can get you pregnant. You or your boyfriend may not notice this, but he doesn’t have to ejaculate or you to get pregnant. So that’s another myth out of the way, lets get this party going!!!!!

MYTH NUMBER 2: You can get pregnant if you swallow cum. FALSE

Well……hmms….I’m not really sure where you dumb asses get this myth from but you must be really inexperienced to think that swallowing cum could actually get you pregnant unless you stand  on your  head and spit semen out of your mouth in to the air and try to catch it in your well …. u get the idea right and your feet pointing in the direction of two different towns! In fact let me take this opportunity to set you on the right track, there is absolutely,positively no connection with your stomach, your uterus and ovaries for this to happen. Unless there is some new and modified human body i don’t know about, then it is impossible even downright crazy to think you can get pregnant from this. In fact this is such a crazy myth and there are persons who actually believe this I would like to introduce you to ‘annz1993′ a  user from DearCupid.org who asked a similar question. Please click the link below to read the replies she got.

MYTH NUMBER 3 : Digits Ratio Theory TRUE

Well this Myth is actually true, you can tell if someone is gay by comparing the length of the fingers. Funny huh, out of all the nonsensical myths this one is actually true. It was proven by a professor at the University of Berkeley in California that you can in fact find out a person’s sexual orientation by measuring finger length. ‘How is this possible?’ you may ask, well if your ring finger is longer than your index finger that means you had a great amount of testosterone in your body as a fetus but if its vice- versa and your index being longer then its oestrogen which means….. wait for it….. meanssssss…. hold on I’m  getting there….. YOU MIGHT BE GAY!
This link provides more information.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digit_ratio

MYTH NUMBER 4 : Drinking alcohol and getting drunk makes better sex . FALSE

Sighs this is the only myth I wish was true, I mean sex and alcohol just seem to go together . Anyway,alcohol is deemed an aphrodisiac in most cultures and increases feelings of pleasure but only in small quantities. Alcohol increases lust, I mean have you ever been to a club drunk as fuck and see a mind blowing, fine ass looking woman and you approach her, take her home and wake up the next morning only to find something resembling an orangutan in you arms?Well that’s what alcohol does to you, lets yous this Ludacris video as a

Alcohol is also an anti depression, so drinking too much will actually diminish your sex drive and libido, therefore rendering your dick useless! It decreases your ability to perform, so go ahead drink till your drunk struck and then try to have sex, I bet you wont be able to get it up.

No matter how many times of the day you masturbate you will not and I repeat WILL NOT increase the size of your penis, you will feel ecstatic however, but the size will never ever change unless you try some kind of penis enlargement device. May I suggest the penis pump. Masturbation is a normal sexual behavior and will relieve stress so feel free to jack off after work, or during work, should you feel the need.

To eat or not to eat, that is the question.
Well firstly let me start off by saying; that is not the normal way in which females eat a banana! I know most men think that we suck a banana but infact we bite it like normal fuckin people. Now thats out of the way let me answer this question.

WHAT IS CUNINLINGUS? Well this is just a big word that means eating pussy, sucking  clit and so on! Thats right I said it. EATING! (men are extremly fearful of this word for reasons unknown).. And the infamous counterpart for that word is FELLATIO, which means to suck a cock (females are afraid of that phrase).
Everyone has their different view on this topic, but in my opinion, if you are kinky and like this sort of thing then feel free to let your tongue committ wonders, but if your what we call a ‘prude’ then by all means u can start the name calling. After all most prudes think that this freaky deaky tongue play is nasty. Which in some cases it is, and the Kinky Bee understands this perfectly, and we agree with prudes for banning that WHITE STUFF.

Any way to answer tthe question ‘ To eat or Not To Eat ‘ The Kinky Bee says GO AHEAD,HAVE FUN…….but only if you want to

Ok, let me be frank when I say ‘YES IT DOES MATTER’. That is just my opinion and the length and width of a man’s organ is very important to me and im sure it is very important to alot of other females, and males ( if your into that sort of thing).Ive been thinking how can sex be enjoyable if your not feeling anything?? Aww come onnn and stop fooling yourself MEN, women care about this, and they care about it alot. They might pretend it doesnt matter if u have a big car and money, but as long as ur ‘inadequate’….well umm. Lets just say your not the only guy in her life. SO YES IN MY OPINION SIZE DOES MATTER!!!!

Click link below for more information on this touchy subject
http://www.couplescompany.com/Jungle/Size/default.htm